Saturday, February 28, 2009

I wont say Im in love

The people who I spend a lot of my time with know by now I dont tell people how I really feel. It doesnt matter if i care about them with all of my heart, I still wont ever say anything about how much they mean to me. And they mean so much. Ive just never been able to tell people how much I care, not even my family. Well I guess with the exception of the family I live with.

But I dont want to be that way. I want people to know I care.

Theres something holding me back.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

emotional disturbance

Wow Im so fucking pissed off... my school counsler wants to tag me as emotionally disturbed and send me to some special school away from all myy friends. I used to have a pretty big problem with anxiety to the point where I couldnt function and I got kicked out of school. But Ive been making really good progress with it (or at least I think so). But I cant make them see that. I still feel anxious sometimes but now Im able to function and move on with my life and do the things I need to do. Ive intentionally been spending a lot of time with my brothers friends because I dont really know them. But Im able to talk to them which is a hell of an approvement. She also wants to send me to a different school because I "have" psychosis. Which I dont think I do, but theres no point in trying to argue that point with her. Ahhh she really makes me mad...

Definition of emotional disturbance

Many terms are used to describe emotional, behavioral or mental disorders. Currently, students with such disorders are categorized as having an emotional disturbance, which is defined under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act as follows:

"...a condition exhibiting one or more of the following characteristics over a long period of time and to a marked degree that adversely affects a child's educational performance--

(A) An inability to learn that cannot be explained by intellectual, sensory, or health factors.

(B) An inability to build or maintain satisfactory interpersonal relationships with peers and teachers.

(C) Inappropriate types of behavior or feelings under normal circumstances.

(D) A general pervasive mood of unhappiness or depression.

(E) A tendency to develop physical symptoms or fears associated with personal or school problems." [Code of Federal Regulations, Title 34, Section 300.7(c)(4)(i)]

As defined by the IDEA, emotional disturbance includes schizophrenia.

Some of the characteristics and behaviors seen in children who have emotional disturbances include:

• Hyperactivity (short attention span, impulsiveness)

• Aggression/self-injurious behavior (acting out, fighting)

• Withdrawal (failure to initiate interaction with others; retreat from exchanges of social interaction, excessive fear or anxiety)

• Immaturity (inappropriate crying, temper tantrums, poor coping skills)

• Learning difficulties (academically performing below grade level).

Children with the most serious emotional disturbances may exhibit distorted thinking, excessive anxiety, bizarre motor acts, and abnormal mood swings. Some are identified as children who have a severe psychosis or schizophrenia.